Hello again. Another update, tried to address some of the issues.
Helm: Glad you decided to post it, I really liked the idea of the shadows eating up the forms of the objects. Tried to do something along those lines.
MattB: I liked the high contrast too, but it did look very bright. I've tried to increase the contrast and darken things up a bit.
Kriss: I Agree that it's not very spooky, hoping that the new, darker look helps with that. There will be more signs of death and decay, hanging corpses, piles of bones, etc. in the full level. Just trying to get the look of this section right at the moment.
You're right about the proportions though, I just threw the mockup together without giving enough thought to how it would look in game. As this is just a cropped section, it's still not quite the right ratio but I've altered it so that it's nearer to what it should look like. I've also added fairly rough versions of the HUD and a couple of sprites, to better give a sense of scale.
Thanks for all the comments, keep them coming, hopefully it's going in the right direction